Struggling with a breakup and trying to understand my ex's behavior

Hi everyone, I’m having a really hard time processing my recent breakup and would appreciate some outside perspectives. My ex and I had a very intense relationship – we even moved in together at 17 and 18. It wasn’t always easy, and we both had insecurities that led to conflicts, but I truly believed our connection was special.

A few weeks ago, she ended the relationship, saying she’s “done with me” and never wants contact again. She claims she’s had “enough of me,” but at the same time, she says things like: “Go find someone else” or “Maybe someone will finally show me what true love is.” It’s incredibly confusing because she also says she really did love me, even though now she’s blaming me for all her insecurities.

She even told me that I need to "heal" because I’ll just hurt someone else in the future. It feels like she’s convinced herself that I’m a terrible person and that everything was my fault, but a lot of the issues she’s blaming me for existed before we ever met. She’s had a difficult past, with a lot of unresolved personal struggles and insecurities that she brought into the relationship.

She’s also told me that she doesn’t want to have contact because she’s afraid it will all start again – the conflicts, the insecurities, and the pain. It feels like she’s actively pushing me away, not because she’s over me, but because she wants to protect herself. This makes me wonder if she’s suppressing her feelings for me out of fear rather than because she truly doesn’t care anymore.

What makes it even harder is that, before we met, she had a complicated past with other guys. She often depended on their attention but didn’t want serious relationships. When we got together, she said I was different, and she cut ties with them, which was a big change for her. But now, after the breakup, she claims that “men are her problem” in general and that her feelings for me weren’t real love but just dependency.

Despite all of this, I feel like she’s pushing me away more out of fear or anger than because she’s truly over me. She also recently started therapy, which I know can bring a lot of emotions to the surface. I’m left wondering:

Is her behavior a form of self-protection? Do people sometimes realize after time and therapy that they were wrong about a breakup? Should I hold onto hope or fully let go? I know I wasn’t perfect – I said hurtful things during arguments, and I’m working on myself. But I’m struggling to understand if her current behavior truly reflects the end or if she might feel differently after more time or therapy.

Has anyone experienced something similar or has any advice? I’d be really grateful for your thoughts.